Meet Fannie

by Britt


Fannie holds a BA in bagpiping from Carnegie University where she currently teaches bagpipes to a selective group of teenage rebels in the basement of her mother’s house in hopes to keep girl’s safe from a man named Drexel, who wanders the street in a fur coat and a gold staff in hand. (Although Drexel comes off as a hard-ass, looking to add names to his roster, he’s really just a professional procrastinator who hates high-pitched sounds, and wears glasses when no one’s looking). Outside of teaching, Fannie takes a night class on competitive dog grooming, eager to win the 30,000 cash prize this summer. She believes this year, she may actually have a chance now that Brutus, her brown and white Schnoodle, no longer chases his tail. Fannie’s other interests include eating chocolate between breakfast, lunch and dinner, messing around with Drexel (even though poser-whore-mongers are not her thing), and marching in protests against caging animals, shark extinction and everything Donald Trump. A broken leg survivor, Fannie lives vicariously through Brutus, who naps, rolls around on his belly, and barks at the food he wants brought to him.

Fannie maintains a blog at

Instagram @Fanniefresh.